Learning How To Be Old

47. Timeless, ageless gardening with Lesley and Richard Evans

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 04:44:00 +0000

Lesley and Richard Evans discuss adventures in home gardening. Gardening is exercise, nature-bathing, achievement and fun at any age. There are so many ways of gardening, one for every personality, and ways that work from the cradle to the grave.

He is busy planting and growing and weeding a big range of fruit and vegetables in their city garden, and she is harvesting and eating and preserving and giving the rest away.

They're both in their 80s, which is not that unusual for gardeners. That's because if you get the opportunity, gardening is something you can enjoy from the age of 3 to 93, at least.

You can start and stop at any age, although it must be said: Richard never stops. Mind you, they pace themselves. If you are learning how to be old, and if gardening is a possibility for you — well, you can see from Lesley and Richard’s example just how interesting and fun that can be.

The garden produces more than food

It's an inspiration for paintings. Gardens are beautiful. And so is food. Irresistible fodder for an artist like Lesley.

They began as a young married couple in Kunde, in Nepal, high in the Himalayas. Not ideal terrain for a vege garden. They were working in Kunde Hospital founded by Edmund Hillary, and their garden succumbed to wandering yaks.

Obviously gardening is exercise. It’s also a way to plunge into nature, a mental challenge, a budget boost, a social thing and even a neighbourhood thing. One word of advice: You might want to start small!

Raised garden beds for over-50s
Making garden connections (Age Concern)

Photos are by Rachel McAlpine except for A. villages of Kumbila and Kunde, which is by Moralist, CC SA-BY 3.0 and B. Lesley Evans' painting of children eating apples off a tree, which is by Lesley Evans.

What’s a podcast?

Rachel McAlpine — Wed, 15 Apr 2026 05:15:56 +0000

I'm often asked this question: 'What's a podcast?' Here's a simple explanation.

It's obvious that the asker has not yet ventured into the wonderful world of podcasts. You don't exactly stumble across podcasts, especially independent podcasts like mine, so I am making a few little videos that open the door. They're simplistic, because the person I've got in mind is a blank slate. Once they get it, they're into that wonderful podcast world of learning, laughing and lolling around.

If you know someone who is curious but only half-interested in podcasts, and you want them to try a particular podcast (not necessarily mine) feel free to share the video or audio version of this little talk. That might help, and someone will thank you, I hope.

By the way, podcasts are terrific for older people. We grew up pre-TV, with radio in our ears.

Transcript of What's a podcast?

Hey, I’m Rachel McAlpine and my podcast is Learning How To Be Old. Listen if you might be old one day.

I said listen, not watch. People ask me, what’s a podcast? What’s the point? There’s no video, nothing to see!

So. It’s like a radio programme on your phone. But you pick the programmes that you really like, and listen whenever you like. No screen involved. You can listen while you do the dishes, sit on the bus, go on the treadmill, drift off to sleep — whatever.

And it’s on your phone. Which is in your pocket. If you’re 50, 60, 70, you’ve got a friend in your pocket. Just search for Rachel McAlpine podcast, or Learning How to be old. Or my website, WriteIntoLife.com/podcast. There's a pile of episodes there for your pleasure, and a new one every couple of weeks.

46. A curious centenarian role model

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 04:47:00 +0000

At 86 I'm hungry for role models who show me how they manage life in their 90s. Rachelle Calkoen may be 102 but she is more engaged with the world, more curious than many people half her age. I hope you get as much joy from her story as I do. If so, please tell a friend about this podcast so they can also be inspired.

Today I’m learning how to be old from someone with a track record: the fabulous Rachelle Calkoen. She was born in 1923, in Holland.

I interviewed her four years ago, for my play, The Secret Lives of Extremely Old People, when she was only 98. The other day I was having a cup of tea with her and she kindly gave me permission to use part of that conversation for this podcast. Coming up shortly.

She said very little had changed for her since then, and she certainly looks the same (wonderful) and her voice sounds the same (musical). She still has the same problems: words — she can FEEL them in her mouth, but they won’t come out; and the same pleasures: birds and people and books and clocks and life itself.

She’s 102, with a mind and heart wide open. She is curious! She’s up for new stuff! Some things annoy her but I don’t think anything bores her. Anyway we can never BE her but that’s what I’m learning from her: to crank up that curiosity engine.

An extremely long life is inevitably interesting. We learn something of her childhood in Holland followed by the horrors of the German occupation. Her university year in Geneva under Professor Jean Piaget and idealistic early career. Her marriage and emigration to New Zealand 75 years ago.

But I'm especially interested in her personal experience of life as an extremely old woman, because she is my curious centenarian role model.

A centenarian's practical advice (A sturdy centenarian)
‘Keep your eyes open – and leap into the future’: 100 centenarians’ 100 tips for a life well lived (The Guardian)

45. Drive safely in old age with Hariata Hema

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 03:39:00 +0000

Hey, I went carless years ago, otherwise I might be thinking these thoughts:

I've been driving safely for 50 years and never had a crash, so how dare you say I'm a danger to shipping?
Why do I have to have a cognitive test? Animals beginning with A? Ridiculous.
How am I going to get to choir if I can't drive?
Why won’t my son let me drive my mokopuna to soccer?
And, um, what are those things called buses?

These may sound familiar if you are starting to wonder whether you should be driving any more. Part of learning how to be old is learning to drive safely as long as possible, and how to recognise when you need advice or help. Fact is, everything changes over a lifetime of driving: roads, rules, cars, and our bodies, brains, needs and circumstances. Therefore we can't just carry on driving the same way forever without a review.

So I talked to Hariata Hema. Her role in Age Concern New Zealand is to run the Staying Safe Refresher Driving Course all around New Zealand, along with a small team. This is a one-day course to update your driving knowledge and also tackle those painful personal questions.

What has Hariata Hema taught me about driving safely even when you're old? Be honest with yourself, and think ahead, don’t wait for disaster to strike, be pro-active. And if you live in Aotearoa New Zealand, ask your local branch of Age Concern about their various courses, and especially the Staying Safe Refresher Driving Course. Short and oh so helpful and maybe necessary.

By the way, Hariata is 70, so she understands what is involved in driving safely into old age, not only professionally but also personally.

44. What activities will still be fun in old age?

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 05:15:00 +0000

Meena Kadri is only 56 but she already has activities that will be fun in old age. She gets great pleasure from activities with friends who are decades older than her. They inevitably show her different ways of being old, and they bring surprising stories and wisdom and fun to their conversation.

That's one reason why Meena knows heaps about how to be old, and has no fear of old age. She’s learned from weaving and aquajogging with older women, and from hanging out with her 98-year-old uncle in Bombay.

In this episode she also talks about the feng shui of park benches, and a workshop run by an octogenarian that alerted young designers to the needs of older people.

I think you'll enjoy meeting Meena — and if so, do share her interview with a friend.

Wellington City Council Hydrotherapy pool
Park benches placed for conversation in Korea
https://www.flickr.com/photos/meanestindian/ (Meena Kadri's amazing photostream on Flickr)

43. Don’t fall into hospital – Adrian Pretorius

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 07:55:00 +0000

Look, you don't want to fall over, do you, especially if you're old and your bones are brittle. Luckily there's plenty of scientific evidence about how to build our strength and balance, and proof that it really works. Adrian Pretorius's work helps to keep hundreds of people out of hospital. He’s got tips, apps, and evidence which will help us to stay upright. And if you do fall over, you don’t want to get stuck on the floor or break something so that we land up in hospital. Personally, I’m very keen on avoiding that, aren’t you? Adrian has even got advice about that.

New Zealand's Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) has this goal for New Zealand residents: Live stronger for longer — prevent falls and fractures. Look for the low cost community-run Steady As You Go classes. NYMBL, an ingenious app, is free for all New Zealand residents over 50.

Once last year I just fell over regardless, for no apparent reason, with no obvious cause. I didn't trip, slip, lose my balance, twist or stumble: I just felt as if someone popped the balloon of me and I collapsed. But thanks to one harmless and simple strategy, I fell softly and didn't hurt myself. So of course I asked Adrian to share this message: you can do this too. No guarantee! I'm well aware of that. But once learned, I've never forgotten it and I hope I never do. Fall softly! (After all, that's what children do.) So far, so good.

42. Recording stories of older people — Judith Fyfe

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 03:39:44 +0000

Here's a very special discussion I recorded a couple of years ago with Judith Fyfe. As a trailblazing oral historian in New Zealand she has vast experience in recording the voices of older people, for example, World War I veterans and our centenarians. As a young journalist and talkback host, Judith Fyfe started to learn the necessary skills of listening with intelligence. Today she is still listening with purpose and empathy in her job as as a forensic lawyer.

Listen carefully to Judith Fyfe, because she shares some fascinating insights, practical and profound. She has a strong sense of just how precious is the sound of very old people speaking — not just the stories they tell but their fascinating use of language and interesting voices. I hope you might be inspired to ask someone old to let you record their stories. It's a very significant work, usually bringing joy to both parties. Also it's so much easier now, starting with a cellphone and a microphone.

But first, listen to Judith's advice. She is terribly modest, but she is the real deal.

41. New Year resolutions as you age

Rachel McAlpine — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 01:29:40 +0000

I asked about New Year resolutions (if any) from strangers from 24 to 50. I find that we all do this thing (or don't do it) our own way. Your goals may be big or small, general or specific, and you may or may not achieve them. That's fine! New Year is an excellent time to think about your life and what you might like to change. That's valuable, regardless of whether you manage to achieve those changes. Yours is not the unexamined life that Socrates so despised.

But I forgot to ask old people! If you're nearly 70s or older, have you noticed changes in your New Year resolutions as you age? Are your aims and values different? Please do tell!

The easiest places to comment on this podcast:

on the YouTube video version
on my website: writeintolife.com/podcast
on Substack, where I HOPE to remember to post a link to the podcast ... soon!

40. Even bad diaries are good in later life — Tracy Farr

Rachel McAlpine — Sun, 11 Jan 2026 16:50:03 +0000

Teenage diaries tend to be brave, passionate, exploratory, funny and heartbreaking. Senior diaries enrich your life with the clarity, compassion, and wisdom you have gathered over the decades. Writing a diary in old age is a chance to stretch your mind, express yourself, record events, have fun, and make sense of your life.

Writer-podcaster Tracy Farr co-founded the Bad Diaries Salon and is the author of three novels, including the brilliant Wonderland in 2025. She knows a lot about diaries and aging.

You kept your teenage diary secret for good reason: but a diary at any age brings many rewards. It's a trusted confidant, a creative outlet and a close friend. You wrote it as a strictly one-way communication, but when you're older, you can look back and see that your life has had a shape, a direction. That you have learned a great deal over the decades. And that your young self was not exceptionally foolish, but just, well, young!

You'll hear about Tracy's own long-lived grandparents who were her role models for old age. She talks about eight years of Bad Diaries Salons, where writers read bits from their early diaries. What's the difference between diaries or journals and social media? Who are you writing for and what happens to your diaries when you die?

We talk about Dr James Pennebaker's influential work on expressive writing and how it relates to diary writing. Why and how does this simple 3- or 4-step process help so many people to function well and stay healthy? Pennebaker unpicks the process of writing (as opposed to thinking) for some fascinating answers.

Writing a diary or journal when you're older can help you make sense of your life. You can see development, change, patterns. Perhaps you will see that your life is not just a patchwork of random events, but a story with a theme. And it's not over: senior diaries enrich your life, and it's never too late to start!

Bad Diaries Salon
Am I too old to start a diary? Debunking Age Myths All the reasons and encouragement you need.
Tracy Farr Author
Review of Wonderland by Paula Morris on NZ Review of Books
Expressive writing can help your mental health, with James Pennebaker, PhD (interview on podcast Speaking of Psychology)
Therapeutic Journaling University of Wisconsin, Madison

39. Dancing as you age with Jan Bolwell

Rachel McAlpine — Mon, 29 Dec 2025 20:55:00 +0000

Dancing as you age is starting to get traction as a belief. Silver Swans, social dancing, old time dancing, Barre — multiple groups for older dancers are spreading throughout the world. Diversity in dance finally includes old people dancing, even in public! Cancer nudged one-time dance educator Jan Bolwell out of her job and into a new life as a dancer, playwright, actor. For the last 26 years she's been the legendary leader of the Crows Feet Dance Collective. These women over 35 dance every week for a new show every year. I've been a member for 20 of those years. We're a mixed bunch when it comes to training (from zero to professional) and skills, but we all dance for the love of it.

Abilities change with age and that's OK

At 86 my difficulties with memory, slow reflexes and balance are becoming obvious, but there's usually still a place for me in the back row. Many members are in their beautiful prime of life but others have sore knees, sore backs, osteoporosis... Stop me, you get the picture. Jan and other empathetic choreographers (including , this year, Anna Groves, Carolyn McKeefry, Tania Kopytko and Sacha Copland) bind us together into a community, tightly knit as friends who dance together.

Dancing is different in old age. But you can dance sitting down, dance just with your feet or eyes or creaky old hands if nothing else works. It's terrific to have an activity which you adore and which you can carry on from 2 years to 92 years. (That's my plan.)

A few examples of dance groups for older dancers

I could add hundreds and thousands of other dance groups: it's a thing! And Jan Bolwell started one of the first on that list with Crows Feet Dance Collective.