Developmental stages—a poem

Two phases in a woman’s life. But how old is the older woman?

People truck through phases.
Shakespeare, Erikson and Sheehan
all agree on that.

Young people rarely tell us
that they’re struggling
in the dark behind the mask:
we wish they would
but we recall that phase.

Mid-lifers needn’t justify
the writing class, the new career
the Ferrari in the drive:
we know that phase
we check it off.

But after that it’s all a mush
of ramps and mini-steps
young old and somewhat old
old old and frail old
and almost dead.

So just for now we’re baffled.
Until we get the hang of it
we oldish people have to think
aloud about
the final quarter of our lives

because it’s genuinely new
new to us and new to you.
We have to train you
not to call us young

as if we should be flattered
as if that label didn’t make
the grave more stark
the complicated end of life
even more confusing.

Rachel McAlpine 2019