What animal are you most like? An iPad blog post


What animal are you, apart from being human?

Reading Joy Williams’ brilliant short stories, Visiting Rights, I reacted in a flash to these words :

Of course privately they all thought of themselves as cheetahs. There was not a single exception to this.

Faster than words, I knew I would be not a cheetah but a Powelliphanta , a giant carnivorous land snail unique to Aotearoa New Zealand.

This was fast thinking, spontaneous and intuitive. On many other occasions I have been asked to imagine myself as an animal, to pick my zoomorph. And I could never do it. I would think carefully, earnestly, slowly working through options and giving up.

And now I know. I identify with a rare endangered land snail. I wonder why.
◦ I hanker for damp, quiet forests
◦ I love silence
◦ I’m large for my type even though I’m absolutely small : like a middle sized fish in a small pond.
◦ A few find me repulsive. A few find me beautiful. Most people have never even heard my name.
◦ I avoid dogs, rats and stoats because they could eat me. Smaller creatures I can swallow whole.

That ‘ll do. Sorry for the italics. I’ve typed this twice on my iPad, the first time I have ever blogged this way. That’s if I succeed. (My MacBook Pro is in hospital awaiting spare parts. I avoid the iPad for productive work but am stuck with it for now.) Wish me luck!

How about you? What is your zoomorph, your spirit animal, the animal you would be if not human?

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18 thoughts on “What animal are you most like? An iPad blog post

  1. I’d love to be a seagull, one that soars in the sky, but not one that poops on people.

  2. Oh you always manage to be creative with your posts. A very creative snail for sure. I’m a dolphin. I love the sea. I’m a bit of a show-off, and I like company. I’m an extrovert but I love being alone, so I’m that solo dolphin who isn’t always in the pod, but happy to join the pod. I smile a lot, so I think, yes, I might be a dolphin. I can whistle, not sure about clicks, but I could learn. I’m conscientious and it seems so are dolphins… will we meet Rachel… do snails and dolphins get along… I’m guessing we will for sure.

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      I can see you as a dolphin. But no, if I were a sea snail I could hitch a ride — but I’m a landlubber, queasy on the seas.

  3. cedar51 says:

    I think I’d like to be a NZ Weta – one that is both secretive but also one willing to climb into an unsuspected gumboot and give the wearer a nip or two!

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      Yesss! That sounds like a pretty good life as well as being apt 🙂

  4. I am going with chimpanzee, hoping I can make it back to human.

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      Why not? You’ve got time.

  5. Lokeish Umak says:

    I would be a lion, the king of the jungle… 😜

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      Dreams are free! 😊

  6. judibwriting says:

    even if I’m a prey animal I go for gazelle- camouflaging amongst the field and forest flora, leaping away fast, – especially the leaping gracefully and forcefully part as that I am far from accomplishing these days, but surely wish I could. 🙂

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      Beauty, grace, strength and ingenuity: all good.

  7. LA says:

    I would clearly be some sort of cat…a little aloof and a little clever but still possible to think too highly of myself

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      It’s strange, this clarity. And enlightening.

  8. alison41 says:

    Well I’ll be darned: a purple snail. How exotic! African snails are a modest brown, with a cream coloured or greyish foot. What animal would I like to be? An otter. So agile and flexible, and so family minded. Playful – they seem to have a lot of fun. Sounds good to me. I have a delightful clip on my phone of sea otters who have invaded a beach home’s swimming pool and are having a ball, diving in and out of the lap pool in the garden. Major fun.

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      I can see you have got your priorities straight! And I imagine you’re having heaps of fun, even as a mere human being.

  9. Sadje says:

    This is a very difficult question to answer. I’ve never thought to be anything but a human. I guess I don’t know much about animal characteristics to choose an animal I’d like to be.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    I have always imagined myself as a sea otter. I really like their lives. They basically hang out together, take great care of their babies, frolic, get food and float around on their backs tethered to kelp so they don’t have to worry about floating off. Family, food, play and rest. A great life I think.

    1. Rachel McAlpine says:

      You have really thought this through!

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