52. How to have a good conversation in old age—with Kirsty Ferguson
I yearn for good conversation in old age, and I have problems. There’s tons of advice about how to talk TO old people. But I AM that old person, and I need help too. So I asked Kirsty Ferguson for help.
In my 80s, I’m hard of hearing and slow to process information. I miss the jokes, I interrupt, give unsolicited advice, repeat myself and lose track. I’m sometimes silent and sometimes rude. So I asked some kind strangers on Cuba Street and Kirsty Ferguson for insights and advice about what makes a good conversation.
They certainly came through! Kirsty is an experienced disputes moderator and counsellor, and every stranger contributed a different and true idea. In the end, the solution is not unique to old people. In fact, anyone who might be old one day would do well to start practising these conversational skills well in advance. Let’s accept the changed dynamics of conversation in old age — and be patient and kind to ourselves.
I wonder what you’re thinking. What’s a good conversation, in your opinion? Do you have enough of them? Do you think you have more problems participating in conversations than when you were younger? What would make conversation more enjoyable for you? Is there anything you could do to make them more enjoyable?
That’s all, I’m done! And please do share this with a friend if you find it interesting.
- How older people talk: a poem
- Active listening (NIH National Library of Medicine